I am whatever I am when I am it.

loving whoever you are when the stars shine and whoever you'll be when the sun rises

Posts tagged patriarchy

176 notes

QUEER ODOR ▽ ⚧: I see nothing wrong with recognizing that an institution is a tool of the patriarchy, and then continuing to engage in...



I hate heels and pantyhose, but if I’m in an office job where I need to wear said things, I’ma fucking wear them and devote my attention to other areas, where I won’t go mad. I’m going to lobby for reproductive rights as much as I can, while still waxing my eyebrows and wearing make-up. Its about the battles you pick, not about ideological purity. It doesn’t make you any less of a feminist for supporting a patriarchal institution. 

The personal is political, but you know what? Its also not. That’s a recipe for going mad; expecting everyone to live like that. You can willingly engage in the system and still retain your integrity, because you are just one person, and what can you really fucking do?

The analogy I always think of is the debate that black woman have over “going natural”. Yeah, the enormous pressure to get straight hair is political; no doubt about it. The dominance of straight hair as the beauty standard is a product of our racist society, and it is a fucking crime that curly, kinky natural black hair is seen as “unprofessional” and “wild”.

Do you blame individual black women who still choose to straighten their hair? Of course you fucking don’t. That’s ignorant and rude in the extreme. You don’t know what went into that decision. You respect their personal choice and you keep your mouth shut — but that can’t extend to being willfully ignorant of the political dynamic how this particular beauty standard evolved.

Criticize the institution, not the individual. 

Wax your vag or don’t wax your vag, good for you. So long as we don’t shy away from truthfully examining the institution of vag-waxage.


(Source: anedumacationisnomore, via boogerbrains-deactivated2013051)

Filed under priorities quotes patriarchy participation

246 notes

First of all, “depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and violence” are not “the negative effects of gender.” They are the negative effects of the Patriarchy, and conformity thereto. That’s not a matter of semantics; that’s the whole fucking point.

It isn’t being male, nor being a man, that is a problem, but believing that to be male, or to be a man, is to have to project a very specific and rigid definition of masculinity—which defines itself in contradistinction to the feminine, thus forcing men to conceal and deny any part of themselves that anyone could call feminine; which limits men’s emotional spectrum to anger; which forces men to exist in a permanent state of insecurity, constantly monitoring the boundaries of their masculinity and engaging in displays of bravado to prove their self-worth; which considers sheer brawn and physical toughness the only acceptable kind of strength, while the kind of strength which informs one’s character, what might be described as emotional strength, the kind of strength that means walking away from a fight, or being patient, or showing empathy, isn’t allowed to play much of a role at all in the definition of masculinity—which leaves men, whose physical attributes of masculine strength will wane with time and age, keenly aware that their masculinity is ever threatened by their own mortality, because they haven’t been encouraged to cultivate a compassion and resiliency that can’t be measured in kilos or KOs.

That’s not about being a man. That’s about being a man in a Patriarchy, who’s never been offered an alternative paradigm.

Melissa gives a great response to this article on the negative effects of trying to adhere to traditional masculinity. (via mayaslinklings)

(Source: mayadusenbery, via note-a-bear)

Filed under patriarchy gender social construction masculinity commentary quotes

946 notes

Boy, 6, Stabbed in Neck at School Because He Likes Pink




And you thought gender binary wasn’t as harmful as we made it sound.

I feel like screaming.

Shit. The child is six. And the child got stabbed in the neck for not conforming to cultural norms of masculinity. This is why the culture we have around sex and gender is poisonous. We construct masculinity as desirable and femininity as degrading. We construct the binary genders as absolute and opposite. We construct gender around the presence of certain symptoms that we have constructed into a concept called ‘sex’. And we punish people for stepping outside these things, no matter how young. Last year a child of 16 months was killed because an adult felt that the child, assigned male, was behaving more like a girl. At these sorts of ages, in an ideal world, children should be able to allow their identities to develop without kyriarchy getting in the way.

Shut the fuck up, binarists. Cissexists. Heterosexists. Transhaters. Misogynists. Essentialists. Shut the fuck up, and realise that you and the children you are socialising into your violent kyriarchal world are hurting others and being hurt yourselves.

i have no words.

(via bubonickitten)

Filed under gender roles masculinity femininity fucked up shit patriarchy gender norms gender binaries

6,000 notes

Being born a woman is an awful tragedy… Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars - to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording - all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night…
Sylvia Plath (via bibliofeminista)

(Source: albumontem, via guerrillamamamedicine)

Filed under quotes sylvia plath patriarchy fear

1,446 notes

And let’s be honest: Isn’t there some inherent sexism in focusing on the weight of a woman who is making a living because of her singing and songwriting skills? Does every Jack Black interview have to include “relevant” information about his weight? Seth Rogen became a star without a svelte physique. No one cared if we posted about those guys without mentioning their weight, but women must be small and tiny and delicate and therefore feminine, right? And let’s not pretend this is a health issue: We see images of stars smoking and drinking and frighteningly thin, and never get emails about how we’re “promoting” those unhealthy lifestyles.

Beth Bitto

(source: jezebel.com)

(via muffdiver, notemily)

(via lesbianoutlaw)

Filed under quotes gender stereotypes body positivity feminism body policing patriarchy