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Posts tagged masculinity

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[TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF RAPE] Gang rape was seen [by commenters defending wartime rape] as essential in the process of bonding men together as men. This trait is common in gang rapes in civilian contexts, too particularly in fraternity rapes: the perpetrators are effectively competing with one another tho show superior strength and virility. […] Or, as another man who participated in the rape and killing of a Vietnamese woman explained, he was ‘afraid of being ridiculed.’ He was particularly terrified of being derided as ‘queer’ and ‘chicken’ — so he followed his comrades in raping the woman.

Joanna Bourke, Rape: Sex, Violence, History

It’s not like this mentality is news to me. It’s not. The idea that it would be is kind of a joke. I’ve been reading and writing about rape for much too long to be surprised.

But I remain profoundly disturbed and distressed. I can’t read these sentences and not freeze in my tracks with a sense of uninhibited dread in the pit of my stomach, asking myself how it is that we’ve succeeded in creating a society where some men are genuinely more terrified of being called “queer” or “chicken” than of actually being a rapist and murderer. How we’ve let violent, compulsory masculinity progress so far that it is seen as better, safer, and more admirable to violate and execute a woman than to risk someone suggesting that you might in some way be like a woman.

(via thecurvature)

Agreed 100% on this commentary, yet still critics of feminism say we’re only out to help women and to take power away from men. I’m sorry, but no. This policing of masculinity, to the point that men will commit terribly heinous crimes like rape simply to avoid having their “manhood” called into question is incredibly troubling. That questioning comes, I think in large part, from this attitude that being feminine is bad, and because women have so little power in comparison, so if men start showing ANY characteristics associated with being feminine, their whole being gets called into question, and the result is heinous acts of violence to negate that questioning. It really makes me sick.

(via lostgrrrls)

(via alexalfurinn)

Filed under masculinity femininity rape rape culture quotes joanna bourke commentary

137 notes

In a lot of traditional heterosexual porn, men seem much less interested in pleasure than in performance. The man’s orgasm concludes the scene, but a question is often left hanging in the air: what did he really feel? Female porn stars show pleasure (or, in some genres, pain) and the camera focuses intensely on their reactions. But the man just huffs and puffs away, working away at the task at, um, hand. The “cum” he shoots onto his co-star’s face or belly is evidence that the sex was real. But it’s not much of a clue to what he actually felt.
Guy Talk: Can Male Masturbators Catch A Break? | The Frisky (via sexisnottheenemy)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

Filed under porn pornography quotes masculinity sex sex positivity feelings

289 notes

misstabbygrey:

gotyarn:

craftjunkie:

Truckers Pick up Quilting and Knitting
Kevin Abraham-Banks, a 37-year-old trucker with a shaved head and dragon  tattoos, passes time at truck stops with his cocoa and knitting.
Mr. Banks, who lives in Sioux Falls, S.D., and hauls romaine lettuce  between California and the Midwest, learned to knit last year after  load-volumes slowed. Creating something tangible  beats sitting around  the truck stop “talking about who has a bigger radio,” he said. He’s  finished a scarf and socks, and is working on a sweater for his wife. 
“The fact that you can take strands of thread and basically make  something out of it, that’s awesome I think,” he said. “It’s pretty cool  stuff, man.”

I think this is kinda awesome. There’s a view of knitters being women in their older years, so I think its brilliant when it gets out that actually this isn’t the case. WE all know this, but its good to spread the news :) Katie x 

Absolutly everyone can knit! It’s productive and soothing at the same time. I really love this post and the photo. You’re so cool, man! (Seriously!!!)

misstabbygrey:

gotyarn:

craftjunkie:

Truckers Pick up Quilting and Knitting

Kevin Abraham-Banks, a 37-year-old trucker with a shaved head and dragon tattoos, passes time at truck stops with his cocoa and knitting.

Mr. Banks, who lives in Sioux Falls, S.D., and hauls romaine lettuce between California and the Midwest, learned to knit last year after load-volumes slowed. Creating something tangible beats sitting around the truck stop “talking about who has a bigger radio,” he said. He’s finished a scarf and socks, and is working on a sweater for his wife.

“The fact that you can take strands of thread and basically make something out of it, that’s awesome I think,” he said. “It’s pretty cool stuff, man.”

I think this is kinda awesome. There’s a view of knitters being women in their older years, so I think its brilliant when it gets out that actually this isn’t the case. WE all know this, but its good to spread the news :) 

Katie x 

Absolutly everyone can knit! It’s productive and soothing at the same time. I really love this post and the photo. You’re so cool, man! (Seriously!!!)

(via bubonickitten)

Filed under knitting masculinity neat gender construction truckers badass

247 notes

First of all, “depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and violence” are not “the negative effects of gender.” They are the negative effects of the Patriarchy, and conformity thereto. That’s not a matter of semantics; that’s the whole fucking point.

It isn’t being male, nor being a man, that is a problem, but believing that to be male, or to be a man, is to have to project a very specific and rigid definition of masculinity—which defines itself in contradistinction to the feminine, thus forcing men to conceal and deny any part of themselves that anyone could call feminine; which limits men’s emotional spectrum to anger; which forces men to exist in a permanent state of insecurity, constantly monitoring the boundaries of their masculinity and engaging in displays of bravado to prove their self-worth; which considers sheer brawn and physical toughness the only acceptable kind of strength, while the kind of strength which informs one’s character, what might be described as emotional strength, the kind of strength that means walking away from a fight, or being patient, or showing empathy, isn’t allowed to play much of a role at all in the definition of masculinity—which leaves men, whose physical attributes of masculine strength will wane with time and age, keenly aware that their masculinity is ever threatened by their own mortality, because they haven’t been encouraged to cultivate a compassion and resiliency that can’t be measured in kilos or KOs.

That’s not about being a man. That’s about being a man in a Patriarchy, who’s never been offered an alternative paradigm.

Melissa gives a great response to this article on the negative effects of trying to adhere to traditional masculinity. (via mayaslinklings)

(Source: mayadusenbery, via note-a-bear)

Filed under patriarchy gender social construction masculinity commentary quotes

82,389 notes

Look, guys. No matter what a girl does, no matter how she’s dressed, no matter how much she’s had to drink, it’s never, never, never, never, never okay to touch her without her consent. That doesn’t make you a man, it makes you a coward.

Vice President Joe “the BAMF” Biden (via junkyardblues)

and now I have some respect for Biden.

(via dreadhawkedmuckaround)

on a ROLL.

(via sexisbeautiful)

(Source: girl-non-grata, via cephalopodqueen)

Filed under consent rape rape culture quotes vice president joe biden masculinity